Cat's got Your tongue!

Cats Got Your Tongue

“Oh Beatrice, I need to talk to you!”
“What’s wrong dear Sylvia?
“Why are you so sad?”
“ Margaret has died, the poor thing.”
“Oh how did this happen?”
“ She died from suffocation, her lung was clogged!”
“ Oh, the poor dear, how old was she?”
“She was 75 years old.”
“ My, I am so sorry.”
“ Yah, yesterday, Frank buried her in the front lawn!”
“ I know you are in rough times, but don’t you think you should have a burial like cremation or coffin wise?”
“ Well Frank said, he would have just thrown her in the trash, and that I should be proud he even dug her a hole!”
“ My what nerve he has to treat her like that.”
“ Everyone can see how much she meant to you.”
“ Well thank you for the tea Beatrice, I am off to the pet store to go get a cat!”
“ Oh how come?”
“ I just said Margaret died, I would like another cat to have as a companion!”
“ Ah yes, your cat Margaret!”
“ What a pity, now the poor dear won’t come poop in my yard everyday”
“ I am truly going to miss her!”
“ Ah well, thank you for your sympathy!”
“ But, I just wanted to tell you that Frank had buried our cat in your yard!”
“Oh why?”
“Well you were the only one who had pretty flowers to put over her grave!”
“ I see, so you picked the flowers and put them over her grave?”
“ No, Frank just wrapped them around her legs,
see there sticking out of that pile of dirt in your front window!”
“ Oh my!”
“ Well have a fine day, good-bye Beatrice!”
“Bye”
Next day:
“Beatrice, what are you doing with that trash can?”
“ Oh, just pulling some weeds my dear!”
“But, Margaret’s grave it’s gone”
“ Oh, my I thought that was a big weed, the poor fellow! Why when I picked her up she was just a pile of sticks!”
“Ohhhh…”
“ Well don’t worry, she has left to a better place!”
“ Yes, heaven, god has taken good care of her!”
“Well I meant she can now chomp down on all sorts of mice at the landfill, but that works too! Well good-bye!”
“Bye….

As God is My Witness....

Alfred bishop was a 27yr. old man with Attention Deficit Disorder. Unlike most people, Alfred loves to watch old movies and can remember every line. Alfred lives in the Peace and Love shelter in Wyatt Oklahoma.
Jacqueline Morris is a 23 yr. old college graduate, who just was given a job at the shelter. Her job is to take patients on drives and adapt them to new things.
Today was Jacqueline’s first day on the job, she was driving down the dirt rode in her 1972 Buick GS 350 Convertible. She was now singing to I’m Bringing Sexy Back, while she pulled in the shelter’s driveway. A sudden smack hit the car, Jacqueline ran out of the vehicle screaming, “Oh My God”. The man got up and started lecturing her on watching the road, Jacqueline was furious. She marched the man into the Patrol office of the Shelter. Jacqueline was just about ready to scream when her boss Margie walked out the door. Margie looked suddenly and said, “Oh, good you met Alfred, I want you to take him out for the day, but make sure he is back by 8pm.” Jacqueline huffed as she marched Alfred back out the door.
Alfred got into the convertible, Jacqueline said, “Gees, I never thought I would be driving a guy somewhere, who just got hit by my car. That is besides the hospital!” Alfred just yelled, ““My momma always said life was like a box of chocolates…you never know what you're gonna get.” “Forest Gump played by Tom Hanks!” Jacqueline uncertain of what he meant continued down the road.
Alfred sat and hummed, whistled, snapped, and all other things that would annoy a driver. Jacqueline tried to ignore him, but just as they passed some road kill, Alfred frantically asked, “ Is your clock broke?” Jacqueline tried to figure out what he meant, but just shyly said, “No, Its 2:15” Alfred mumbled and then answered, “Either he's dead, or my watch has stopped. A day at the races” Jacqueline tried to figure out the meaning of these peculiar phrases when he started crying like a two yr. old. “ He’s Dead isn’t he, I could have died, but that critter did die, didn’t he!” Jacqueline could barely understand him beside his moaning cry.
“Okay Alfred,” Jacqueline said calmly. “ Do you want me to call and tell them I am bringing you back?” Alfred looked up, “ Um yah, yah, um yah, E. T phone home, yah, E.T phone home!” “ Okay,” Jacqueline pulled over to a nearby phone station and called the shelter.
Jacqueline came back outside to the car where she left Alfred and he was gone. Jacqueline ran down the street and found Alfred looking at the street lights that said ‘DO NOT WALK.’ “ Alfred,” Jacqueline grabbed him just as he yelled, “May the force be with you.” “ Okay Alfred its raining now and we need to get into the car to go home so come on.” Jacqueline said as she pushed him in the right direction. By the time they reached the car both of them were wet. Alfred jumped in and said, “Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.”” Said in Every Day's a Holiday, spoken by Mae West.” “ I Love that movie,” Jacqueline exclaimed. “ Do you watch it often?” Alfred proudly looked into her eyes and said, “ Yah, Saturday Night Fever!” Jacqueline just laughed and drove back down the way to the shelter.
“Fasten your seat-belts, it's going to be a bumpy night. All About Eve.” Alfred laughed. “Would you like me to give you a towel or dry shirt?” Jacqueline asked. “Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." “Clarke gable in Gone with The wind.” That was my mothers all time Favorite movie, how many movies do you know” Jacqueline resumed in a fair conversation.” Oh, I love movies um a whole lot of them, yah.” Alfred said in immediate attention.
After a long trip of laughs and memories, Jacqueline pulled into the shelter and said, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." Alfred smiled and walked in the door hand in hand with her. “There's no place like home!"
Margie walked up to them and said, “Well now tomorrow, Alfred you will get another chance to go with Jacqueline, so hurry up to your room and get a good rest.” Alfred walked up to her and then looked back and said, “After all, tomorrow is another day!"
From that point forward, Jacqueline drove Alfred wherever he wanted to go everyday for 26yrs straight. At the age of 53, Alfred passed away and on his grave are the words, “ Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings” upon the marker is a little bell that chimes in the wind! Just as he said many times, ‘ may the forces be with you!’

I Only Like That!

I only like what I like,
Anything else, give to mike.
I like donuts and ice cream
Give me broccoli and I will scream.
Chicken nuggets or Mac and cheese,
I like these foods pass them here please.
I do want a brussel sprout,
Place it on my plate and I will pout!
Mangoes and oranges may be sweet,
But they are not my kind of treat.
Milk or water do not please,
But crystal punch will set me at ease.
Wait…
This is ALL I get to eat,
If I eat it, I get a TREAT!
Ok, chomp, yum, mmm..
Hey this is a new thing that I like,Here take a bite!

A Tradgedy Unlike Any Other

August 3, 1982,

I was working as a ranger down in Witherheimer Ridge, my buddy mark Kingsford was working on the weather and storm radar when we got an alert that there was an avalanche, piling up. The heavy winds and over occurring precipitation was causing a 3ft. slope at 20ft. south, 5600ft. elevation. I sent my men up to comfort the situation, but it was to late.
Six men were caught in the storm three rangers, one snowboarder and two skiers. The wind change caused a large gust to hit the slope and change direction to 12 ft. south of the station 5580ft. elevation. The storm was heading directly toward my station at 80mph. I didn’t have too much time to react. My reaction was to build a fort type structure that would convey myself to fall above the storm while it took the rest of the rubbish. With me was Park ranger Smith and my friend Karen. Smith grabbed hold of me and pushed me to the ground. He yelled, “ What are you thinking, work with us, don’t slack off.” I was unsure what to do, but I stayed calm. The station was exactly at 3400 foot. Elevation. We had seconds to work. My heart was racing the silence was unbearable.
We grabbed our safety kit and pagers and leaped out the station to our snowmobile. Heading 40degs. North we missed the storm by seconds…we thought. The occurring storm hit a slope and caused another heavy winded avalanche to go straight at us! Unlike the last one, no one had time to give out an alert. The avalanche was roaring down at 105 mph. Ranger Smith had buckled us up together when we left the station in case one got tagged in the storm, but now what?
A train like sound rushed through the pines, like an asteroid breaking a hole into the Earth’s surface. Somehow we all launched ourselves around a large tree and held on for dear life. I looked up and saw the storm racing after me and then all went black.
I woke up in the hospital and to my relief my partners were both still alive. The six men who were caught had a different tale. Three men, two rangers and a skier survived. The snowboarder later passed from hypothermia and the last park ranger got caught in the snow trying, to push his partner out!
We survived by working hard, keeping calm and letting god do his job. The avalanche crushed the tree we were on, but a sudden motion threw us to the top of the powder that was left behind. I thank my partners for working with me to save my life in such a tragedy, without them I would be dead! So, today I am honoring ranger smith this Medal of Honor for his courageous stride to keep us together and on top of things. He may not be much of a hero to most. Actually most are probably angry with him because he is the one they pay at the park office, but he’s my hero and he deserves something.
In memory of John Michaels (Ranger) and Hope Redd (Snowboarder).
God bless your families, throughout the rest of their lives!

I Have Pride, Because I Am Faith

God has made me who I am,
He gave me a home where I can stand tall!
I have special needs known only to few,
But it doesn't hold me back, because I am strong!
My love and nurture is seen by all,
Because I was given the same respect and never was given up on!

Courage was my first hop,
Today I can run or walk.

I was given life through faith,
My life is a miracle and I can prove it was worth all the effort, everyday!
In ways it may be more difficult,
But I can still overcome all achievements.
I am determined to show the world a new way of life,
To represent how everything can be achieved.

With just a pinch of Faith,

And a whole lot of Pride!

The Dolphin Angel

The body lies calm as I trickle my fingers down his spine,
Wet, slick skin slides through my touch.
A powerful tail wisps spray at me,
As if asking to play.
Caress movements of the nose,
Brushed my lips with a wet kiss.
I laughed and he giggled,
Unveiling a dance of excitement in the waters.
The smell of salty mist flourished me,
I held tight to the large fin and skipped, down the current.
Below us an unforgettable array of fish,
Bowed to our arrival with light waves of their tails.
The body so close gleamed in the teal waters,
Just like a blue angel that stunned the sea.
Spinning in slight circles,
My body lie drowned moment.
The creature so profound,
Was easing me into a magical world of solitude.
The sun lay at rest with colorful shadows,
Guiding our way home.
I lay quivering unknown of the love that was shared,
A figure of magnificence bade me farewell.
The next day as the tide sprayed upon shore,
My eyes were welcomed to the elaborate life.
Waiting for his friend, to take a ride with him once more!

Old Tap Shoes In Their View

The day had come for me to reside,
I even had my laces tied.
I thought this meant a brilliant thing,
Of reliving my dream and showing off my wing.
Instead I found a shallow box,
That felt just like a bed of rocks.
I sat there desperate to cry,
My taps were worn, but still wished to fly!
I was replaced with a newer design,
I wasn’t even given a sign.
My filaps used to flip,
My shuffles could skip.
Now I was to lie,
Without a shade of good-bye.
I still had it in me; my soles were not worn,
But out with old and in with the newborn.
Dust covered my color; wind blew through my holes,
But I could still do it better from taps to soles!
My body looked old, but my tap was still young,
I was a comforting fit and I still held my tongue.
Inside me I felt that no matter how late,
My body could tap at an excelling rate.
Then at the moment I felt I could rip,
The box was pulled and slightly gave a tip.
I didn’t know what I had in view,
But I would settle to be the shoe.
My taps were ticking my tongue was licking,
I was ready for some tip-tap kicking.
In a shop I was worked on,
With sharp pins, cold hammers, it was like a shoe salon.
Two days later I was up on the shelf,
Revealing my new self.
Pretty girl with stylish toes,
Picked me out and sniffed me with her nose.
This may seem odd,
But she smiled at my odor and said, “Oh, my god!”
She took me home to stay,And that is the reason I am here today!